Adventures in Canada

I raked leaves for the first time in YEARS last weekend. I've been staying with some friends in Canada and the leaves are in full color and falling. It reminded me so much of when I was young living in Michigan. I don't remember much of those years, but I do remember they were full of adventure. I spent hours running around with my brother outdoors, loving to explore nature and pretending to have all sorts of adventures.

At some point, though, I lost that adventurous spirit. I got scared along the way, and life became hard verses challenging. Lately I've felt a desire to reclaim that sense of adventure. I don't want to be so focused on the difficulties of life that I relinquish the challenges. I have kids now and they LOVE the outdoors. They are ready for the next big adventure. I don't want to be the one who kills the spark in them.

My wife keeps telling me that she sees so much of me in our son, but I have trouble seeing it. He's such a little leader, ready to explore the next hill or tree. "Come on guys," he'll say, and lead us to the next adventure. I'm excited to have a second chance to embrace life's challenges with my kids, full of risk and danger, but full of life.

An Attempt to Stay Connected

These feet belong to my beautiful one-year old daughter. She is an amazing gift, along with our three-year old son, but my idealism is coming into major conflict these days with the reality of parenting young children.
I kind-of, sort-of thought parenting would be this utopia of family life where enough love made for a world of laughter and joy. Well love gets tested between tantrums, teething, and total chaos in our cozy little home. For a guy who tends to like things a bit cleaner, a bit more orderly, this is not utopia.
But the hardest part, to be honest, is the sense of isolation we feel as we work our hardest to provide a stable environment for our kids. Much of what we've read about parenting is that you need to know your child, and respond to his/her cues, especially noting when they're tired or overstimulated. As a result, we've tried to emphasize regular naps at home, which leaves us confined to the house for the better part of the day. Our social life has gone down the drain, and it's challenging enough for both of us to get to church at times. Are we doing something wrong? Or is this just a phase of life? Maybe as I write this it's partly a cry for help for someone out in cyberspace to sympathize with us in this crazy time of life. We would love to make more time for our friends (you know who you are), but find the days go so quickly, and the years from there on. I'm trying to stay connected, to God, my wife, my friends, and even myself. Journaling is definitely a helpful start, but if you care to respond, I'd love it.

I ask for more of God's Spirit, more peace, and for guidance to the places of connection I need for my soul's health.

Life with 1 John

We leave for Catalina (see picture below) tomorrow and I've been prepping 1 John, the text we will study as a group out on the island. I have been awestruck by John's (or whoever the author of 1 John was) view of sin and obedience as I've studied the text. He reminds us that as believers, sin is not in keeping with our identities as children of God. Though we have a beautiful solution for sin through confession and forgiveness, we are not meant to sin. It is just not appropriate for us as children of God. Personally this truth has empowered me to view temptation and my own will power in a whole new way. Sometimes I don't think I take my ability to choose life - versus the death that comes with sin - that seriously and I give in to temptation without a fight. John's exhortation inspires me to live as I am meant to live - like Jesus!

I pray I would know who I really am this week, and that I would be encouraged to walk in that true identity. May my friends be changed and transformed by the power that comes from truth intersecting with our heart's desires. May Jesus bring freedom and new life to many.

Taking Time to Slow Down

I read an old Bill Hybels chapter the other day from "Too Busy Not To Pray." He emphasizes the importance of slowing down in our fast-paced culture in order to connect with God more intimately. One recommendation he makes is to journal every day, even for a short bit, because it causes us to stop, reflect, and connect with our souls and with God. Blogging may not be the same as journaling, but since I hate having half-completed journals collect in our small home (sorry hon'), I'm going to take to blogging again. Spend some time breathing deeply, putting a few thoughts down online. Obviously some of what I write can't be as personal, but perhaps sometimes I will write an entry and just not post it. The point is to slow down - take time out to reflect. I'm grateful that even though we are moving towards a technological overhaul of everything that we know, there are still forms of reflection - for good and for bad - like blogging, that provide the necessary space to just "be." Peace to you this day.

Yesterday was a tough day - early with the kids, baby still sick, C and I SO tired. We're tired so much of the time these days. But it was so good to be in the word - to prep for camp and see such depth and power in the scripture. I pray that as I am changed by it, so would my students. I also pray for healing for our family - so that we could have some normalcy. Yet even as I pray this I recognize that I am learning long-suffering in a very gentle way, and I am grateful. Deepen in me your character, Jesus, that others would see you more clearly and be amazed.